31 January 2018

Time

I do not know if this is merely the trait of someone who is an anomalously deep thinker, but I undoubtedly romanticise the past.
For those of you who aren't particularly reflective, or interested in the past at that, this will most likely seem a rather odd concept. However, I know that some of you will completely identify with this.
Isn't it fascinating how, as humans, we are never satisfied with what we have right in front of us. Whether regarding the present or the future, we always crave more than we have. It is almost like it is an inbuilt and unchanging shared characteristic. Ultimately, to extinguish the flames of desire is to extinguish the flames of possibility. Yet, I can't help but feel like it is this desire that creates so much melancholy in our existence.
The concept of time is somewhat perplexing if you consider it. We are all the same. Our ancestors shared our biology, and ultimately there are parts of all of us in those that we've never even met. You're the legacy of your own past.
I've always felt like I belonged in a bygone era. When I was younger, this revelation caused me much discomfort. I wanted nothing more than to be like all of my friends, to enjoy all of the modern luxuries of being a teenager in the twenty-first century. I often felt a somewhat perplexing sadness, as I felt like I struggled to truly connect with those around me. There are, of course, those odd people that you meet that have the same thought processes as you. However, finding them can feel impossible.
However, as I have grown slightly older, I have realised that there is nothing wrong with feeling a disillusionment with the present. It is the craving of the past, and the future at that, that creates our identity and an undying desire for success.
I may be a seventeen-year-old in twenty-eighteen, but I feel more at home with the literature of the likes of Fitzgerald and Hemingway than I do with modern mass culture. Similarly, I can't imagine anything worse than a drinking holiday in Ibiza when there are beautiful, romantic cities such as Paris and Venice to explore.
Ultimately, it's this fact that makes me unique and an individual.
Make your life the epitome of everything that you idealise.
Time doesn't stop for anybody.

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