An Update

Wednesday, 13 June 2018

I never thought that I'd be writing a post like this.  Of course, it is something that nobody ever mentally or physically prepares for, and the odds of it happening are extremely slim. Yet, in typical Amelia style, it has happened to me...
Basically, I haven't sat any of my exams.

If you've been following my blog over the months then you'll know that I have been working myself up to my exams for two years, since beginning college in 2016. Yet, the day before my first A-Level exam I was taken to the hospital for query appendicitis- having been ill for the previous few days. That same Thursday I was taken into surgery for an emergency appendectomy. It is now Wednesday, and I have officially missed all of my exams.

Everything is very up in the air at the moment, I don't know if I will still have my University place. I don't know if I'm reapplying, or deferring. I'm returning to college full-time in February 2019 to sit my exams next summer- so I am still going to gain my qualifications, I just have an 8-month hiatus. It is going to be incredibly difficult going back, I'd closed that chapter in my head, and everyone I've ever known will be at University by then, so I'm literally going to be friendless and completely alone.

However, I'm trying to view this situation from a fatalistic perspective. Ultimately, someone somewhere is trying to tell me something- I'm just trying to figure out what. In a strange way, I feel a sense of relief, I wasn't completely ready to move to University in September,  I was getting a lot of anxiety and for the past month or so I just couldn't mentally process the fact that I was leaving home, it's almost like my gut was telling me that it wasn't going to happen this year.

I need to work out what I'm going to do during this hiatus. Of course, I have things that I'd love to do, but because this situation was really sudden, I hadn't saved or prepared for any of them.  Obviously, I'm going to need to keep the academics ticking over, but ultimately I have no daily routine anymore. My first port of call is going to be getting a job, but who knows when or in what form, but I'm actively looking, although right now, my focus is on recovery.

Other than that, I really want to get involved in some work experience or internships. Thankfully, my dad has a lot of contacts so this has never been something that is in short supply, I've just never had the time to get involved before.

Finally, I want to pour myself into this blog. I have the time, energy and mental capacity now to really put some thought into my posts, so I want to know what you all want to read, please comment or message me and let me know as I am in need of some inspiration.

If you've sat exams this year, I hope that they've gone well for you! If you are or have been in a situation like mine, I would love to hear from you.

I'll be sure to update you all on what my plan is for the foreseeable future, once I know, but for the meantime, I'm focusing on recovery and getting my head around what has happened. I'm going to Italy at the end of July, so until then I'm probably going to get myself back on my feet, hopefully with a job lined up for when I get back.

The unknown is scary, and this is probably the most intimidating situation that I have ever been in, but the unknown can also be liberating. The unknown brings opportunity, so grasp it, and make the most of any situation regardless of how scary it is, as you have no idea of the good that can come from something that appears bad.

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